To avoid dragging on

Yeah, as if I could do that.

My mother wants to move back in. She's pretty set on it. I'm not concerned about my relationship with my mother. We're cool. I'm concerned about her and my father. They both say they are okay with living with one another again. I don't know. My mother says that we're different now. It's been more than 7 years. It should be fine. My mother has been visiting more often for the past few months. But living together full-time, moving back in, it's still different. I had a long conversation with my mother, about 2 hours, regarding all of our concerns, plans, worries, etc. In all seriousness, things should be fine. My mother is really positive and is trying to stay on the bright side of things. I am too.

For me, deep down there is always that worry. It makes sense that she wants to move back in. It's not surprising at all really. The morning I told my father she was visiting again, and this was before anyone knew she was moving back in, he told me that she might as well just move back in. After talking with my mother, I know that the main reason he agreed was because of money. It would allow both of them (my mother and father) to be more financially secure.

The definition of marriage is financial security, if you were to just use my parents as an example. Marriage is about a lot more, of course. It is about love, companionship, trust, respect, happiness.

And it is also about arguments, stress, anger, hate, violence (emotional and physical), broken holes in the wall, and stepping on the sharp pieces of a broken plate. This is if you were to look at one of the many of marriages (and divorces) that occur. If only things were simpler.

They should have divorced more than 10 years ago, really. The only reason they haven't is because of money. I wonder if this strangeness if because of the fact they are Asian/Chinese. No, not even Asian/Chinese parents are able to put up with what they have put up with. They are/were just crazy.

Things should be simple, to be honest. Even after everything is said and done. Once my mother is moved back in, she will do her thing (she is now retired, and spends most of her time line dancing), and my father will continue to do his thing (which is sit and occasionally move around all day while eating very little and usually finishing all of the leftovers). He should be retiring soon, too. My sister, within the next year or two, should likely (and hopefully, for her sake) move out and live on her own, which is something that everyone agrees would be good.

Everything should be fine. There's no need to over-think things, or to worry excessively about the past. What's done is done, as they say.

But the past always finds ways to manifest itself in the present and future. In the ways we talk, the ways we act, how we behave, what we think about, what we dream about, what hurts us, and what we miss. It's just something we all have to deal with.

She (my mother) wants to bring in all of her furniture. She wants to take my room since she has a queen sized bed, and my room is the only room where it can fit. I liked having the master bedroom, even though it was mostly empty (save for clothes scattered everywhere) while I was sleeping there. I liked having my own bathroom and shower. It shouldn't be a big deal, getting a smaller room. It just feels like such a sudden change.

My mother is worried about getting breast cancer. At the moment, everything looks okay, as long as things stay the way they are. My father's hearing is getting worse, and I wouldn't be surprised if he were to become deaf within the next 10 years. And he still doesn't care to go see a doctor. My sister still argues with him almost everyday.

Everything that happened was nobody's fault. Why is that so hard to believe? Everything will look differently once she's moved back in. I will like that, but it will cause some difficulties. Everyone will do their own thing, just as we have been. I won't be stuck in the middle. I won't have to explain everyone to each other.

Oh wait, yes I do.

Things will be fine. She's happy, he's okay with it, and she finally found a job. Things are looking up. Don't be a pessimist. Being emo is for attention-seeking, MDD/BP faking bastards.

Right now, I need to go eat 800 calories to make up for the 3/6 meals I have skipped.

Weirdest thing that has happened to me lately is that I haven't played video games for almost a week now. Why do I always proofread my vents.